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| 1/24/11 ...37.5 weeks |
Maggie asking me every day "When is the baby going to come?" strangely doesn't help my impatience or restlessness. I try very hard not to take out my frustrations on her each time she asks.
Of course, having been told by the doctor over 3 weeks ago that I would likely have delivered before now doesn't help either. Now I can't help but feel overdue. I try to remember that I really still have 2 weeks to my due date, but that doesn't help much. Jeremy thinks it is humorous to point out my past pattern:
James 1 week early
Maggie 1 day late
John 2 weeks early
THUS...
Next baby (girl) will be 2 days late. Grr. That would be another 2 weeks from today.
I saw my OB yesterday afternoon. Still in what she calls the "ready to go into labor but not there yet" stage. She says the baby hasn't fully dropped and engaged, which is what is needed. She blamed this a bit on being a 4th-time-arounder - muscles more stretched out and it allows the baby room to just float around a bit in there. I found this strange, since I am still 2 weeks from my due-date, but she actually gave me all kinds of unsolicited advice about how to bring on labor.
Actually, she started by saying, "When do you want to have this baby?" That seemed to me a strange question, but I did tell her I was ready anytime. She asked if I wanted to schedule an induction. What? Really? I asked if there was a medical need. "No... the baby is not over-sized. But it is an option." Well, I definitely found labor easier without an induction (Maggie and John) than with (James) so I prefer not to go that route yet. Then she gave me a list of things to try to bring on labor on my own. Okay, odd. I later speculated with Jeremy as to whether any of these are more than just old wives' tales - a way to fool myself into feeling like I have some control over the uncontrollable. But I must confess, I am planning to try them all. :)
On the other hand, I have a competing urge to not push this delivery. I am not actually physically so uncomfortable as I recall being with other pregnancies. (James was fine, but for Maggie I felt huge and bloated - my largest weight gain at 35 pounds, and it was a hot August - and for John I had indigestion all the time - nothing tasted good and I was so anxious to just eat a meal that I could enjoy again.) I am very anxious to meet this baby and hold her. But, after 3 other newborns, I am keenly aware that she is much easier to care for on the inside. I reflect on this when I try to get John in and out of the car for an errand. This is hard to do in my highly pregnany state - I am not strong enough or quick enough to just pick him up and move him if he is feeling uncooperative. Still, it is not going to be easier to manage when I instead am lugging a loaded infant seat everywhere. Or, I think about this when I toss all the kids in the car, late for somewhere, and realize that at least I didn't have to nurse anyone first, or change any diapers.
I also have been in a bit of a panic about work (my professional work). I didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped to during January Interim. I got through the teaching just fine, but it fatigued me, and the afternoons and evenings were only enough time to prepare for the next day, finish grading, and nap. None of the other projects got worked on, contrary to how I had planned.
So now, I have the research project due in 2 months, and the reappointment papers due in 1 month. It seems like I should get as far as fast as I can with those before the baby arrives. It is easy to feel like I will have plenty of time on my maternity leave, with just the baby, but when I stop to think about it, I know that won't be the case. I will have about 8 hours a week when John is in preschool. I should be able to get another 4-8 hours a week when Jeremy can be home. But of that 16 hours, the baby will still need to eat, and I may still be too sleepy to work effectively. In any case, I know intellectually that I must make as much progress as possible now.
So, here I am, waiting. Excited on the one hand to "get this over with," yet also feeling that the longer I wait, the better.
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