God of the night watch

An opportunity to practice my faith.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.


This verse came to me in the middle of the night. Pregnancy hormones apparently give me insomnia (though Jeremy would claim astonishment at this news, since I sleep all the time when he is observing - I only lie awake from about 3-6 AM, then can drowse happily all day long). Thus, I get a lot of my deep thoughts (and meaningful prayer time) in the middle of the night now.

This verse convicted me last week. I have definitely been busy feeling sorry for myself. It is going on 6 weeks now of nearly constant nausea, punctuated only by brief interludes of violent vomiting. Now, I am not a person who typically stops for illness. I never missed school or work for colds, fevers, bronchitis. I have even worked through pneumonia several times. 

But vomiting was the one thing that could stop me dead in my tracks. I used to dread the idea of contracting stomach flu because I knew it would "ground me" for the duration. I prefer to pass through nausea in a completely inanimate state. Fortunately, I seem to have a fairly impervious gut and rarely do contract contagious vomiting. This past spring, our family passed vomiting and diarrhea with a seemingly indestructible bug - James had it once; Jeremy, John and Maggie each had it twice; it dragged out over a month. And yet, I escaped this illness completely.

So, I find myself singularly unprepared to deal with nausea that seems unending. It doesn't take me long to turtle into my shell and just hang out feeling sorry for myself. Perhaps most disturbingly, I have found it difficult to even consider others. I can't remember to ask others how they are doing. I lose all sympathy for the aches and pains of the kids. I have been fully aware of my self-obsession, though seemingly helpless to change it.

So, this verse was a welcome breath of fresh air as it popped into my head early one morning. I tried it out. I rejoiced for my nausea, and gave thanks for the circumstances of my discomfort. After all, I was miserable for a purpose - a joyful purpose. And I was certainly thankful for that purpose. We are commanded to give thanks in all circumstances - certainly these are not the hardest circumstances faced by many believers, including myself?

I sometimes wonder if I am one of the children who most frustrates God. No matter how many times I learn the lesson, I always need it again. Scripture is true. Even as I prayed the prayer, giving thanks for my circumstances, I felt a lightening of my load. No, my nausea didn't actually subside at all. But my sense of despair certainly did. This verse has become my lifeline since then. I will make it through this, and knowing that lifts the cloud and gets me through each moment.

We serve a living God, a God of great mysteries and of quiet companionship. Nothing is too big for God, and yet nothing is too small for God, either.  Praise to God!
Philippians 4:11-13
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.