I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time this week. There is something indescribably magic about hearing that strong, rapid rhythm filling the small examining room. Sure, I saw the heartbeat on ultrasound weeks ago, and loved that, too.
But now, for weeks, I have been caught in pregnancy limbo. I feel pregnant (sick, tired, etc.) but there is no concrete evidence that all is well. I can't feel the baby move. I am not growing noticably bigger (that all happened up front this time). I know that worry is unproductive and unneccesary, but still...
At 10 weeks, the doctor went looking for the heartbeat. The whole gang - all 5 of us - were there hoping to hear. But Dr. Rinzler couldn't find it for us. She played it cool. "No big deal. I can't reliably pick it up on the microphone until 12 weeks, when some more parts (intestines) move around and get out of the way." Still, she is the queen of "no big deal," I have learned through many years of visits. So, I am not necessarily reassured by her. She worries lots (one of the reasons I think she makes such a good doctor) but she never shares that worry with me.
So, I wasn't exactly concerned, but still, to hear that loud, strong sound was truly a balm to my soul. John and Maggie were along this time, and seemed unimpressed, but they were busy arguing over the one chair in the room, looking at books, and generally causing a bit of trouble.
Dr. Rinzler called out her usual insincere predictions. After listening for just a moment, she announced, "I'll say...148 [beats per minute] so I will say, it's a boy." Then, as usual, she laughed and assured me that she can't really tell that way. "I can't actually hear the penis waving around in there." Well, thanks for that clarification, Doc. I suppose a lifetime as an OB/GYN would lead to a ceratin earthy sense of humor.
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